MONSTER

They called me monster

In what word would you describe yourself? And would others see you in the same light or cast you in the shade? I've been called many names and described in many word's as "son" or "brother" but the one that registered the most is when I was called a "MONSTER"... 

Imagine being at a young age and hearing how people considered you a lost cause and even worse they consider you a monster. It's said so often that you actually start  thinking " I AM A MONSTER ". Then you enter prison as a kid and are surrounded by real monsters. You're then forced to become the thing you hate and let the person who you are die...I was just a kid who loved watching cartoons and eating cereal on Saturday. 

I was just a kid who wrote poems and won school awards for them .I was just a kid who was forced to grow up in prison because people consider me someone who was past redemption. I made a tremendous mistake as a teen and I regret it everyday and every second I breathe... I'm not a monster I'm a "son" I'm a "brother" and best of all if someone wants to describe me in a word or name just call me "Angel"

Photo by Donovan Reeves on Unsplash

1 thought on “They called me monster”

  1. ANGEL.I really can identify w/your story. Thank you for sharing. I know it helps for us to put things on paper because it gets it out of our systems n the internal world. I am seventy three years old ,n have thought of myself as a monster most of my life-since i was thirteen up until about a year n a half ago,.i type w/one finger n can not properly manage technology ,so i type w/out making paragraphs make short cuts as much as possible.IN that great novel the catcher in the rye it;s writers’ protagonist states that he isn’t going to chronical about his parents nor his growing into adolescents’ n all that” ‘David coperfield’ SORT of crap”.He doesn’t believe such information to be germane to the story.he is wrong,nothing simply happens. There is cause n effec

    Apparently there was not enough room for me to go into the lengthy discourse i would have liked.i was born seventy four years ago,w/copd n they did not have much knowledge about that condition at that time n so my mother thought i was retarded n treated me as such, combined w/her ignorance was a sense of guilt that she was responsible which did not help, guilt rarely does,my father had been sexually molested as a teen ager not once but twice n from the age of eight to eighteen would tell me stories,hes kept believed ,i about how he had killed various homosexuals not knowing the difference between homosexuals n pedophiles, n, in emotional distress i felt the urge to kill from the age of thirteen until seventy two n i thought of myself as a monster.in 2022 i went through some horrific malpractice experiences n was kept hostage against my will n lost that compulsion,it’s not been a happy life.

    t,

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